Teka Brown

 

I am a small town girl from Oregon and I’m so honored to be representing StandUpGirl.  I was a teen mom and StandUpGirl was there to help and support me through my pregnancy with my daughter. I was so fortunate to have had such encouraging support from the Pregnancy Resource Center in Coos Bay, that I am able to stand here today and honestly tell you I am a proud parent of three beautiful children: Tailor seven, Trae four, Tomas two and one on the way.  

I am a 26 year old dedicated Military Wife, currently stationed in Okinawa, Japan with my husband Kyle, who is a Sergeant in the Marines. Kyle and I have been happily married for six years and we have been together for ten. I am not going to say that it was always easy but we did it and we continue to stay focused on our faith, to use our story as a testimony to others.  Having a baby as a teenager isn’t the end of your life, it’s just a new beginning.

 I was raised in a Christian home with strong morals and core values with high expectations from my family. I would go to church twice a week, work a job, manage a youth basketball team, as well as be actively involved in a youth group.  I have great parents who I have an inseparable bond with. My wonderful mom Roxanne, who is my rock, instilled in me at a young age how to be strong and resilient.   She went through a rough first marriage to my biological father, but the neglect and abuse got to be too much. She was divorced by the time I was two and we were living with my grandma while my mom provided for me. During that time I don’t remember ever seeing my biological father.  Thankfully, my mom eventually met Wayne, my forever dad and they got married when I was 4.

Wayne is the epitome of an amazing dad and husband. He CHOSE to adopt me and keep me for his own. He has always been there by my side willing to teach and encourage me through life. He taught me to be responsible and  independent. He also taught me right from wrong and how to treat others. I could talk for days about how amazing my dad is.  Wayne is the type of father that any daughter would aspire to have. His choice to CHOOSE me, was one of the many reasons I chose to keep my baby.

As a child, I was homeschooled up until 5th grade and my parents enforced strict rules and discipline in our home. At the start of 6th grade, I was not only entering middle school, but beginning my educational experience in the public school system. Let’s just say, things began to change. Because I was homeschooled, I was unaware of what really went on in public school. For the most part, I drifted through middle school as an innocent and sometimes naive kid. I had no idea about some of the topics my friends were talking about or the sexual innuendos that were said. It was very odd to me that kids my age spoke this way. I did my best to keep away from those situations and focus on my school work and church.

Once in high school, I was teased constantly.  The kids called me a “goodie two shoes”, and “the church girl.” The teasing hurt, though I never showed the pain. I was strong and independent. I slowly stopped vocalizing my Love for Christ. I kept it hidden. I didn’t understand why my so called friends would make fun of me. I was taught to treat others how you would want to be treated, and because the teasing continued, I thought I was in the wrong and it must not be the cool thing to do. It was all very discouraging. A few months into my high school career, I decided to start attending a local organization called Young Life. The mission of Young Life is to help the teens in our community who did not know Christ, or did not attend church. Through Young Life, I realized again why I loved Jesus, and where my heart needed to be. This is where I met my now husband, Kyle.

At first I just wanted to understand his life and let him know I was there to help in any way possible.  Kyle had a tough childhood, much different than my own,  but Kyle had an amazing smile, and a mature outlook on life. He had a way of making me laugh and his non-judgemental attitude made me feel good about myself. He genuinely wanted to get to know me. He showed interest in my passion for Jesus and would always ask questions, and even started coming to church with me. We started hanging out more and by the end of summer my sophomore year, we began dating. As I started to pay more attention to Kyle, and hang on every word and compliment he was saying, I slowly started to turn my back on God, and my Faith. I was so focused on how Kyle was making me feel, and thought he was the answer to all unspoken prayers.  I was in love.

 There is a song called “It’s a slow fade,” by Casting Crowns that pretty much summed up my junior year of high school. The Song talks about giving yourself away… Slowly. I felt as though my life was in a slow fade. Slowly going away from what I knew was right. Slowly my grades were declining. Slowly I was focusing less on my school and family. Eventually, I hit rock bottom.

The summer before my senior year, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Tailor. I was devastated! I was mad at Kyle, but mostly I was disappointed with myself, because I was suppose to know better. We made the choice to not use protection, which made the choice to possibly get pregnant. Becoming pregnant does not just affect you, it affects your whole family; the people you care most about.

I was ashamed, embarrassed and extremely distraught for days to say the least and to top it all off we had to tell our parents. We decided to have both families over to my house, and Kyle and I told them together. My parents took it really hard, and my dad blamed himself, thinking he didn’t raise me right. When in reality, I was the one who chose to go against my values and discipline. They were sad and disappointed. We were all worried about the future, and at that point, who isn’t?

Kyle and I had plans of our own. He wanted to play football in college and I wanted to go on to be a nurse. Our goals suddenly took a drastic turn. Our social lives also took a turn for the worse. Some of our friends were understanding and supportive, while others turned their backs on us when they heard that we were expecting. We had to face the truth that from this moment on, our lives would never be the same.

After much consideration, prayer, and my revived faith in God, we chose to keep our baby. Despite what our friends and some family thought; there was no way we could ever “get rid” of our child. A baby is a miracle of life, who am I to decide to take it away?  I mean, I may have lost my way in the mist of love and lust but I wasn’t going to punish my unborn child for my bad decisions.  Of course Kyle and I were scared. We had no idea where to start to plan for a kid, as we were still kids ourselves. We didn’t know where to turn for help. That is where StandUpGirl came in.

A close friend of mine had been a part of StandUpGirl for a long time. She encouraged me to find the forums and get to know girls that were going through the same situation. The girls online were nonjudgmental. They knew how to answer the tough questions and be there on those tough days.  Through the StandUpGirl website I also found a local Pregnancy Resource Center in Coos Bay, Oregon. I was able to go there, hear my baby’s heartbeat, and talk with a counselor about my fears and struggles. They let me hold a life size image of my baby at that moment. I was 11 weeks. The baby I held in my hand had its own tiny feet, and had a already formed a cute little face. It really put things into perspective. I had a baby. I was in charge of this Tiny human. I bawled right there in the room. The PRC volunteer held me as we all cried together. I left with amazing resources, and I met some amazing women both online and at the center. I read some wonderful testimonies and blogs about how they overcame their fears and found ways to keep pressing towards their goals. I was able to find encouragement and support through this small organizational network ran by volunteers.

Later, I was asked by Gayle Atteberry to take part in StandUpGirls mission of reaching out and helping young girls in crisis pregnancy. Of course I said yes! All of the support I received from StandUpGirl while I was pregnant gave me the courage to stand up for what I believe in, and I have been blessed beyond measure helping the girls who contact us!  It is so satisfying to see an email that has an attachment that says, “Here is my baby!” or “Thank you StandUpGirl! I couldn’t have done it without you!” We are making a difference in the lives of the next generation. Although we are few, we all strive to send a message to women that “You CAN do this!” and it is possible to still achieve your goals in life. In the past few years, I have taken on the task of posting and managing our Facebook page. In this time, we have seen an 860% growth in the number of followers on our Facebook page and we are reaching out to millions of women in crisis worldwide with a life-affirming message of hope and courage!

I stand before you today, thankful and humbled, because without my sin and shame, I wouldn’t be here.  I realized that the sin was in the act and in not the child that I was blessed to have. Without StandUpGirls support, I would not have been able to make it through like I did; and for that I am forever thankful. I was able to graduate high school, and finish getting my CNA license.  Presently, along with being a devoted mother and wife, I volunteer with Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, which helps support our Marines and Sailors financially.  I am the president of the base football team, the ‘Okinawa Bulldogs’, I am a Tiny Mite cheerleading coach, as well as manage my own at home business.

Kyle was able to graduate on time as well and joined the military soon after. He has done an amazing job in taking care of our family, despite our many setbacks. He is still an avid football player as well as coach to the Tiny mite football team. He was just recently promoted to Sergeant and is a strong Godly leader for his men and our family.  Kyle is still the love of my life and I am eternally grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful man and father for our children.

I try to always remember that, no matter what anyone thinks, you DO have a choices in life and there are other women who have faced similar situations that I want to help and support just like I was.  The decision I made to keep my baby was the best decision I have ever made and I’ve never regretted it. My daughter and sons are my reason for living. Given the chance to go back in time, I wouldn’t change my decision because it, along with StandUpGirl, made me the strong, confident woman I am today.

April Horton

 

I always thought abortion was one of those cut and dry topics. You were either for it or against it. I was against it until I was sitting in my living room on a Friday afternoon researching options for the unplanned pregnancy situation I had found myself in. After a motor vehicle accident in 2012 that left me paralyzed from the lower ribs down I was told I probably couldn't have anymore children. Being a single mom of a spunky toddler already and in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, another baby seemed like the scariest thing. I knew the facts about abortion and I knew the effects it has on women's lives, but I was looking for something that told me it was ok.


I had just started working at the pregnancy center in my town as a work study through the college I attended. Imagine being a single mom already and working at a place that teaches abstinence and there I was single and pregnant. I had been there only a few months when I had to tell them I was pregnant. I thought about not telling them, I thought about hiding it but I knew it wasn't going away.  When I talked to the ladies at the pregnancy center about my pregnancy, they never looked at me like I couldn't do it. They didn't fire me or turn their backs and walk away from me they stayed true to their mission that they love every girl that came through their doors with the kind of love that only Jesus could have given. They offered encouragement and support. The pregnancy center was a safe place. A place to support me when I was terrified and felt alone.

I loved my baby but I was scared. I wanted my baby but I was afraid of how everything was going to work out. Fear is normal human response to something unknown. When I saw my daughters heartbeat on the ultrasound I didn't know yet that it was a girl or that her name would fit her so perfectly. I only knew that she was alive inside of me and that her life would be something great because she would be so loved.

Fast forward to now and I have the most beautiful baby girl who is an absolute blessing to me and all of those around her. I can't imagine my life without her now because She is such a light in my world just like her sister and she is here as a reminder that all life matters.

Michelle Bisbee

 

I would like to share a little history to help you better understand my journey. When I was younger I ended my first pregnancy through abortion.  There were several barriers that made me feel that abortion was my only option. Pregnancy made me very sick and I felt I had no help. Later, I married and we tried to have a child. We lost four babies through natural miscarriages. During this time I lost my mother unexpectedly to unknown causes. My marriage was destroyed by drugs. As our relationship ended I found myself living with a drug dealer and his parents because I had nowhere else to go. 

In July 2013 I found myself far from home, scared, alone, and pregnant.  I was living in an unhealthy and dangerous environment, with the baby’s father, a drug dealer.  On a daily basis I was hurt physically, emotionally, and mentally. I was wrong to think that the abuse would stop once he knew I was expecting his child. I vividly remember being locked in a room for three days without food.  He would lock me up and then return to beat me, accusing me of cheating on him while he was gone.  

To run would be the only way to save myself and this little baby growing inside me. I contacted my dad to help me get out.  My dad felt the urgency and wanted to help. The morning he arrived, I had just put the baby’s father in jail due to an abusive outburst on me and his parents. I still struggle with fear and cry when I remember this past. I now know it was God’s timing that saved me.

When I arrived home, my step-mother shared with me some of the support programs at the local pregnancy center.  I was really blown away at the amazing, free resources that The Open Door provided this small rural area.  

During my ultrasound, I was able to see my baby boy’s heartbeat, and he was waving.  The team was very encouraging and helpful.  This was my first real pregnancy, and I was scared.  They helped me to know what to expect and what to do next. At the center I received resources, support, and the referrals I needed to get help during my pregnancy.  

Around 28 weeks, I started considering adoption for my baby.  I was worried that I would not be able to provide for us. I wanted the best life for him and was afraid that someone else would be more prepared to meet his needs.  I was also very afraid of his father coming after us. 

Jackson was born at 31 weeks via an emergency C-section due to high blood pressure.  He was not breathing at birth and it took 20 minutes before he took his first breath.  He spent a month in NICU.  I did not see Jackson for the first couple of days. During this time, Jackson was literally fighting for his life, and I was an emotional wreck.  I cannot begin to tell you the struggle a birth mother feels when choosing between adoption and parenting. I’m very grateful for the prayers and the care packet The Open Door sent me when I had nothing.

Once I was able to be with him and hold him, I knew I wanted to keep him. But would I be the best for him? I remember crying in the hospital over this when a woman came to me; she had a comforting spirit who helped me to know I could keep him. With the support of my family and the pregnancy center, my confidence that I could be a great mother to Jackson grew.

I voluntarily started a CPS case because of my past, the past abusive relationship, and to prevent future problems.  I wanted help to be a good mother.  CPS helped me get a protective order against Jackson’s father. They were able to close my case quickly since I had been clean and sober and was taking classes at The Open Door. This was encouraging to me that I was on the right track to being a good mother!

I continue to take classes at The Open Door to have a support team to talk to and to meet some of my physical needs.  I also enjoy visiting with the team members! I have taken classes in cooking, pregnancy, preparing for the baby, and parenting.

I love being a mom! I love hearing Jackson laugh every day and breathe throughout the night.

I’m excited to use my life experience not only to help others who are going through challenging times, but also to continue my education to become a Nurse Practitioner. 

I would like to thank The Open Door and those who fight for pregnancy centers. Thank you for everything you helped me with! Thank you for helping so many others needing assistance or guidance through rough times.

Kailee Perrin

Several years ago, my mother had invited me over for Lasagna, which is one of my favorite meals. I had not been feeling good for a few weeks. I was nauseous all the time and thought to myself often, why is this hangover not going away? Even the smell of my favorite dinner was making me cringe as we were waiting to eat.

           My Mother said, “Kailee, come up to the bathroom with me for a second.” As I went up the stairs with her I thought to myself, what on earth does she want me to come up to the bathroom for? She started to take out a little package and open it. My heart sank and then began to beat like crazy as I figured out what she was doing. “You are going to take this pregnancy test and I am going to sit right here while you do it!” she said. “MOM - REALLY? You don't have to watch me”, I shot back. “Yes I do. I need to make sure you don't run it under the water.” When I was done taking the test we sat together waiting impatiently for the results. I was scared to death. Finally it came up and sure enough, my mother was right. It was positive.

            As I looked at the results tears began to fill my eyes. I had a baby growing inside me. I was in no shape to have or take care of a baby; I couldn't even take care of myself.

           My boyfriend and I had just started dating and moved into an apartment together. He was a drug dealer and we were using and drinking every day. I was 18 years old, addicted, and now pregnant.

          

  My mom assured me that I was going to be ok and she would be here to support me and help in any way. I spent night after night not knowing what I should do. Should I have an abortion and make this nightmare go away as fast as possible? Should I place the baby for adoption? Should I try to become a mom at 18 years old while battling my addictions to drugs and alcohol? Thought after racing thought ran through my mind as I cried myself to sleep every night alone and afraid.

           My boyfriend decided he wanted to end our relationship. This was all too much for him. He was not ready to change his life and have a baby. I grew up in a home without a dad due to his addictions to methamphetamine. My mother struggled raising me alone and I rebelled in every possible way. Not having a dad in my life caused me to crave male attention and love which leadto me becoming sexually active at the age of 13 and contracting an STD by 15 years old. The last thing I wanted to do was bring a baby into the broken situation I was in. I had absolutely no self-worth and hated who I had become. My biggest fear was repeating the cycle and having a baby become like me: a fatherless mess. My boyfriend decided I should have an abortion and he would give me all the money I needed to pay for it. My Step dad also thought that having an abortion would be the best thing for my life. I thought becoming pregnant was the worst possible thing that could happen to me. With everyone whispering ABORTION in my ears I thought it was my only logical option. Deep down, I wanted this baby. I already loved her and I was so tormented by all the lies of abortion. Lies like I would be doing my baby a favor. This would be the best thing for me so I could go on with my life. I would make a terrible mother. Lie after lie after lie and I was a lost little girl who began to believe them all.

            Finally I had decided what I was going to do and I didnot want to talk about it or discuss it with anyone. I told my mother I was going to go ahead and have an abortion and NOTHING was going to change my mind. I wanted this all to be over and I thought this was the best way to make that happen.

          While at a meeting my Mother was talking about my situation and stated that she didn't want me to make the wrong decision and she did not know how to help me. After the meeting a man came up to her and gave her a piece of paper with a phone number on it and said, “Take your daughter here.”

            She told me she was going to make an appointment at this pregnancy center. I thought Pregnancy Center well they must do abortions so I agreed. I had no clue what a pregnancy center was or what they did.

            Walking through those Center doors that day with my heart pounding out of my chest, I felt alone, ashamed, embarrassed and afraid. They took me into a room where I met with a counselor. She began talking to me and I immediately felt safe and comfortable with her. We talked about my situation and I told her I was going to have an abortion. She went over fetal development with me and I learned for the first time the stages of life after conception. She then went over a brochure of abortion procedures with me. She told me what the physical and emotional risks were. I had no idea all that an abortion entailed. She then started to tell me about her life, and that she had been in a similar situation as me when she was 17. She told me how she kept her baby and surrendered to the Lord and He blessed her life. I was in awe of her story and immediately filled with a glimpse of HOPE. My darkness was beginning to be filled with little rays of light. Hope felt like God had a 

plan for my life and my baby’s. Yes I made a mistake by getting pregnant, but God was creating this life! We then prayed together and I felt a powerful sense of God’s love and protection like I had never felt before.  My counselor then made me an appointment for an ultrasound and got me right in. Seeing my baby for the first time was life changing.  I was 8 weeks along and my baby was moving all around the screen. So full of LIFE! Joy filled my heart as I bonded with her that day.

 

           I walked out of the Center choosing life and filled with HOPE. I knew I was going to keep my baby no matter if the dad wanted any part. I had a renewed sense of God’s love and began to believe He had a plan for me and my baby.

           

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

            My appointment at the Center that day was a divine appointment made by God. It was truly the first place I had ever seen Christ.

           My Parents decided that I should go to rehab to learn about the severity of drug addiction and alcoholism. They wanted me to be a sober mom and give my baby a better life. In there I began to seek a relationship with Jesus Christ, and He started healing broken pieces from my past. After I got out of rehab my baby’s father contacted me and said he was ready to be a dad. He wanted to be there for me and our baby.  He stopped using hard drugs and selling them and tried to get a real job for the first time in years.

            I had our daughter, Preslee Olivia Perrin, on October 3, 2008, after 24 hours of hard labor. It was the most amazing day of our lives! Holding her for the first time changed our lives forever. Shortly after having our daughter her father proposed to me and we began planning a wedding.

      

    My Husband's Aunt had come over to see the newest member of the family and spend some time with me. She said she was just getting back from volunteering at a local Pregnancy Center. I couldn’t believe it! It was the same place. I told her I went there. They helped me so much! I made the connection for the first time as I seen her holding my daughter … the connection that if I had never gone to the Center that day my baby would not be alive. That whole night my heart was restless. I knew I needed to write my counselor a letter and thank her for all she had done for me and for being there that day.

            When she received the letter she was delighted and so encouraged. She contacted me shortly after and asked if I would be interested in sharing this story at a few of their annual banquets. I said yes! I then went to lunch with her and the Executive Director, who at the time was Jacque Wagner. When we were at lunch the ladies were talking to me about the banquets. When I asked, how many people would be attending, she said, 400 at the first and about 200 at the second. I almost fainted and fell out of my chair! I had never done any public speaking before, and I had already said yes.

 

            At lunch that day the executive directly looked me in the eyes and said, “God has laid His hand upon you and has a mighty plan for your life.” It was like God himself was speaking right to me. That was the start of my special relationship with her and the Lord. Who knew a 19 year old and 65 year old could be best friends! She later invited me to bible study and her church. I would attend weekly bible study with her and my counselor from the Center. They began speaking Gods Word into my life and would pray for me constantly. I learned how to be a Godly wife and mother from them. They showed me how to become a woman of God, and mentored me every step of the way. My life was rapidly changing by leaps and bounds, and I knew I was never going to be the same broken, lost girl I once was.

         

   “He lifted me out of the pit of despair out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” -Psalm 40:2

 

 

            When it was time for the banquet my husband, mother, and new daughter attended. The first person my mother saw was the man that handed her the piece of paper at the meeting over a year before.  She had not seen him since that day. He had no idea the outcome of my pregnancy, and that it was because his act of faith by giving her the pregnancy center number that I was there speaking and sharing my story. His table was right next to ours. This changed and encouraged his life as well! God had performed another miracle by connecting the dots! It just goes to show how His hand is at work saving lives at pregnancy centers!

           Today I am so very thankful for the work of crisis pregnancy centers. If I had not gone to the center that day I can honestly say I would not be alive. God not only saved my daughter’s life, but my husbands and mine as well.

           My daughter is now 6 years old. She is just finishing 1^st grade. She loves learning new things and getting 100s on her tests at school! She is a dancer and a softball player. Her love for Jesus at 6 years old is contagious!

 

            My husband and I have 5 years of marriage and we have two more children. Our family has grown to a family of five. Our three year old boy melts my heart with his acts of love and kindness every day. At three he has a willingness to pray for those who need prayer. And we welcomed a new baby girl into the world on 9/11/2014. Her name is Reya Grace. She has filled our home with so much love and joy! My husband and I have given our lives and hearts to Jesus and look forward to the plans He has for us and our family. And today, I get the amazing opportunity to share at our local churches the hope that the pregnancy center gave me that day.

           It is my heart’s desire that all women facing an unplanned pregnancy choose life despite their current situations and circumstances. That they would know that no matter what they have done or 

where they are the God of the universe delights in them and longs to make their story beautiful.

           “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, That they may be called trees of righteousness. The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” -Isaiah 61:3

            It is also my hope to encourage Pregnancy Center workers and those who work or volunteer in the pro-life mission field. That their seeds of hope are being planted and God will continue to transform lives through their hard work and dedication.